Don't Try to Feed Me That Borscht!: The New Red Menace Exposed!

Open wide... if you dare!

Borscht.

Merriam-Webster tells me it's a soup primarily made of beets, and that it can be consumed hot or cold.  That sets off the first warning bell.  Hot or cold??  As in, Cold War???  Yeah, that's right.  I said what we're all thinking.

And that's coming from that notorious leftist rag that Merriam and Webster pass off as a dictionary.  When we go to Wikipedia (The People's Source), we receive a dose of damning truth.  And I quote:  "Borç, (due to the emigration of White Russians to Turkey after their defeat in the Russian Civil War)."  Bam. (Editor's note:  The Freedom Bolding in that quote?  Yeah.  That was me.)

Plus, it's made of beets.  Have you ever seen beets?

Now that we've established the dire nature of this invasion, we need to delineate what we are looking out for...

Borscht can take on many forms:

From the insidiously-seemingly-palatable (and fancy!),

To chunky home-style (starting to show its colors),

To this.  This bowl of Pepto-Bismol is borscht showing its true nature.  Would you trust your children with this soup?  Would you trust your country???

Well, I've decided it's time to shine a light in this dark corner.  Check back for Part 2 of this exposé: "Borscht in the Heartland," where I attempt to eat a borscht served up by local St. Louis restaurant, Dvin (reasonably priced at $3.45!).  Until then, stay vigilant, brothers and sisters.

None of the images used in this article are owned by me, and their rights are retained by their individual owners.

The Legend of Korra: "The Aftermath" (Episode 7)

Episode link: here.  Discussion of the episode: ahead.  Beware.

In my last review, I mentioned how excited I was for this episode.  I thought it was going to be an elegant exploration of Republic City in the wake of Amon's bold move at the Pro Bending Arena.  I had hoped we would wander the city with Korra, seeing how the shockwaves were spreading through everyone we have met so far.  Boy, was I wrong.

But I can't help but wish that that had been the past episode, instead of what we got.  Close your eyes and imagine with me*:  At the beginning of the episode, Korra is at city hall, slightly behind-and-to-the-left-of Tenzin.  The council (in other words, Tenzin and Tarrlok) are debating plans to protect the city from Amon, but Korra keeps interjecting ideas of her own.  To get rid of her, Tarrlok appoints her as ambassador to the city.  Tells her it's the Avatar's job to bring people together.  He wants a report of her impressions about the state of the city by the end of the week.  So Korra goes out to Republic City Park, and sees the student protester.  He's spewing his rhetoric, and stops to give her a look of superiority.  She hangs her head, and goes and sits by the pond.  Gummo, the old homeless man, comes out of his bush, and they converse about the way that Republic City is becoming.  She can go talk to Skoochy, and either find out how the gangs are reacting from him, or pass by some of their turf, listening to their gossip.  Go visit the shopkeeper from the first episode who owed the gangs protection money.  He might have some interesting opinions about Amon.  You can fit in the Tahno scene at the police station, or have Korra stumble upon him at a Healing Hut or something.  Talk to Chief Beifong while you're at the police station--the contents of that conversation could be a nice way of showing how her attitude toward the Avatar has changed.  Of course you still have to include the Pro Bending Arena scene that was in the actual episode that aired this week.  I could go on, but the point is, this feels it would have been a much better episode than the one that actually aired this week.

*Don't actually close your eyes and imagine with me.  You can't read with your eyes closed.  Unless someone is reading this to you.

So, what was so wrong with the episode?  I might have been a little harsh, but its first flaw was that it was not the episode I described above.  I sat down and was prepared to watch a character-building episode.  Instead, what I got was hasty character exposition, more love angst, and mecha tanks.  So that was it's first problem.  And actually, that was also its second problem.  This felt like an episode in a kids show.  Some people might counter by saying: "Well, this is a kids show!"  I don't think that holds up as an argument, though.  Would so many people count Avatar: The Last Airbender as a landmark in television if it had been nothing more than a kids show?  The complexities of plotting in Last Airbender were superb, and they respected the audience, regardless of who comprised it.  The creators never just dropped a plot point out of thin air; there was always (well, usually *coughcough* Lion Turtle *cough*) an allusion to important mechanics before they were implemented.

We should have heard more about Hiroshi Sato before such a big reveal in this episode.  We should have found out that his wife was killed by firebenders well before now.  Asami has been a player in the last four episodes.  Why are we just now hearing that she's been taught self-defense since she was "this" tall.  To introduce a characteristic because you want to use it later in the episode is something that a common kids show would do.  I expected better planning from the Avatar crew.  Watch "City of Walls and Secrets" from the old series.  That's what I expect.

So, I guess I should get on to the actual guts of the episode now.  We start out with Korra showing up at the former Pro Bending Arena to tell the boys that they can come live with her, only to find out that Asami has already offered them a place at her house.  Korra is dejected, but accepts an invitation to Asami's house the next day, after some urging from "Pabu".

We get the scene with Tahno (which unfortunately seemed a little out of place in the episode we were given), and then head to the Sato Estate to hang out in the pool with Asami and the bending boys, where we find out that holy crap Asami's an awesome driver and can kick butt!  (So why did Mako make her feel so safe in "The Voice In The Night" if she's so great at taking care of herself?)  Then, coming out of the bathroom, Korra overhears Hiroshi Sato talking to "somebody" about very suspicious things.  I hate this as a setup.  Not only is it overused, but the opportunity for the character to be proactive and learn these facts herself is replaced by coincidence.  Nothing is required of Korra in order to find out this information.  All she has to do is listen at the keyhole.  And if she hadn't been there, none of this episode would have taken place.

To sum up the rest, Korra is proven right (surprise, surprise) about Hiroshi Sato and there ends up being a big factory under the Sato mansion.  Turns out Hiroshi had lured the metalbending cops, along with Tenzin, Lin, and Korra, to his "lair" to test out his new mech inventions, and also to capture the meddling benders to take them to Amon.  There's a fight; benders lose.  Asami comes in and saves the day by electrocuting her father.  Everyone's moving to Air Temple Island, and Lin is quitting as police chief so that she can get her cops back/defeat Amon "Her Way."

Everything that happened this week may not have been expected, but the way the plot was laid out made it feel very much like a connect-the-dots worksheet.  Everything was exactly as it seemed.  This is part of what makes people (like the guys over at Republic City Dispatch) think that Hiroshi's not actually a main player in Amon's scheme.  He's a little too earnest in his beliefs, and his strategy (expose my secret factory by bringing in top-flight benders, and in the best case, take them to Amon and hope nobody notices that the chief of police and a council member is missing) is not very sound.  Additionally, the fact that Hiroshi tries to capture the Avatar for Amon also means that Amon does not keep Hiroshi very "in-the-loop" with his current plans.  Otherwise, Hiroshi would have known that Amon could have had the Avatar as a prisoner at least twice if he had wanted her.  Hiroshi doesn't know that Amon has something special in store for the Avatar.

The theory put out on the latest episode of Republic City Dispatch is that Asami is still not someone to be trusted.  That she is further in on Amon's plan, and has to clean up the mess that her father has made in this situation.  Plus, this incident has given her a chance to prove her trustworthiness to Team Uh-vatar, allowing her to get closer to the Tenzin and Korra.  I support this theory, and the picture I posted at the top of this article looks to back it up.  The guys also bring up the idea that, if Asami is Super-Driver, why was she unable to avoid Mako on her moped?

I still don't trust Tarrlok, either.

Other housecleaning:

• Platinum being unbendable seems like a cop-out.  I understand why they did it (to increase dramatic tension), but it just feels like using 'magic metal'.  "You can't bend this metal, because it's enchanted!" Why not make the metal bendable?  I feel like that would make the world of Avatar a little more fair. It's not like there're metalbenders crawling all over the city who are going to make your invention worthless.  We've seen, what, eight?  They can't be everywhere at once.
• As others have noted, the mechs do look like Big Daddys from Bioshock.  Still kind of a cool design, though.
• Bolin is beginning to lose some of his charm for me.  All he does is provide comic relief, and it's starting to get less funny, too.  I need to see some seriousness in his actions, some sense that he's a human being and not a two-dimensional gimmick.
• Really, any scenes with the bending brothers and/or Asami are usually a big let-down.  The show drags whenever Mako hits the screen, and I just really don't care what happens with any of their characters.

• Tenzin and Lin Beifong, on the other hand, interest me immensely.  I don't even think it's because of their connection to the original series.  It's more that it's informative for me to see responsible adults in Republic City interacting with each other and figuring out the implications of what is going on, rather than watching Mako threaten Korra with "we're not gonna be friends anymore!!!"
• Why doesn't any of the several very proficient earthbenders down in that factory bend the earth to tip over these mechs?  Defeating my locomotive opponent with earthbending would have been my first instinct, if I was a very proficient earthbender.

Crackpot-Theory-of-the-Week:

We got no flashback this week, but I'm going to say that this Yakone character was a firebender serial killer, and Aang took away his bending.  That's what gave Amon the idea to try to take people's bending away, because that's how Avatar Aang punished the person that killed his parents.

No episode this Saturday.  Nick will probably show a repeat, so, if you want, you can come and read the review I did for whatever episode that ends up being.

All images are the property of Nickelodeon, Inc., Bryan Konietzko, and Mike DiMartino.  All rights reserved.

Samus X Fox McCloud

The Paul Gale Network blog, which reported first on the upcoming Playstation All-Stars: Battle Royale, is reporting a rumor--and reemphasizes that it is a rumor several times--that Retro Studios is working on a Star Fox/Metroid crossover game for the Wii U.

What is Nintendo thinking?  While I have faith in Retro Studios to produce a fun game, I have no idea what is to be gained by crossing over these two properties.  Although I hesitate to call any of Nintendo's franchises "realistic," Samus Aran deserves better than than to occupy the same gamespace as an anthropomorphic fox and a talking toad.

Now, I'm not opposed to crossovers in principle.  Marvel vs. Capcom has always sounded interesting.  I might pick up Tekken x Street Fighter if Namco can avoid the pitfalls that Capcom has fallen into regarding downloadable content (EDIT: and apparently, that's only one of the game's many woes).  Super Smash Brothers is an all-time classic.  Notice anything about all of these games?  They're all fighting games.  Fighting games are perhaps the most mechanical of all video games, and things that define a good fighting game are balance, depth, and character design.  Note how none of these things have anything to do with story.  I have finished the story mode for multiple Tekken fighters, and I could not tell you how any of them ended.  I don't really care how any of them ended.  But man, do I love to play as Marshall Law, because he's fast, looks just like Bruce Lee, and produces little explosions whenever he hits somebody.

Crossovers in other genres could work.  I'm not saying they couldn't.  If characters inhabited similar universes, I would have no problems throwing them together for one game.  Want to put The Legend of Zelda in with Kid Icarus?  I'm okay with that.  Contra and Ninja Gaiden?  Similar style games... why not?  But Retro has created a serious backstory for Samus Aran (despite what Team Ninja tried to do to it), and they did it in a subtle way.  Star Fox does not fit into that backstory.  Fox McCloud does not fit the mold of the aliens who appear in Metroid games.

Look at The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword.  It's generally acknowledged that Wii Sports Resort was a test ground for the mechanics that Nintendo was going to include in Skyward Sword.  When the team went to make Skyward Sword, nobody suggested that they needed to do a crossover with Wii Sports Resort!  "Uh... why don't we make Link into a Mii character?  It'll be a crossover!"  It's because they respected the sanctity of the Zelda property.  There's no room for incongruous characters shoehorned in for marketing or mechanical purposes.  Why can't Retro Studios take Star Fox elements and program them into a Metroid game?  Why can't they include 3D shooting levels featuring Samus's ship WITHOUT including Peppy Hare?  Can we seriously imagine Samus having a conversation with Falco Lombardi?  Or Slippy Toad?? SLIPPY TOAD???

Or how about if they create a new IP that features third-person shooting elements and 3D space shooting?  This smacks of a marketing push to have recognizable names available at the Wii U's launch.  You know what will raise consumer interest?  The next great Nintendo game.  The people are waiting for something new.  Give us a reason to believe, Nintendo.

Source:
Paul Gale Network-RUMOR: Is Retro Studios' Wii U game "Star Fox - Metroid: Fusion Saga"?

Image is the property of Smash Bros. DOJO and Nintendo, Ltd.  All rights reserved.

The Legend of Korra: "And The Winner Is..." (Episode 6)

Okay, new episode is up at nick.com.  Direct link is here.  Sometimes it comes through as a pseudo-HD stream, sometimes it does not.  I can't explain it.  Spoilers ahead.

On Saturday morning, I got done watching this episode and instantly thought it was one of the greats.  Easily one of the best of the series so far.  But after I tamped down the raging 14 year-old that still lurks somewhere inside of me, I tried to articulate why.  What makes this episode so much better than, say, "The Revelation" (which was a decent episode in its own right)?

Well, first off, this was a very lean, action-packed 22 minutes.  We've mostly left all the Korra/Mako nonsense in the past, and I'm grateful.  Instead, we got a little insight into Lin Beifong, who is a vastly more interesting character than Mako, and also some pretty sweet fight sequences.  I get a feeling that this will be about all the backstory we will be getting for the chief, and since this is pretty much the first sustained screentime she's gotten since the series began, I don't have a problem calling this Lin's episode.

It turns out that Lin and Tenzin had a relationship long in the past.  A sexy relationship.  The sequence where this comes to light between Tenzin and Korra is precious, and gives the audience a sense of just how close the two have become.  Korra feels comfortable teasing Tenzin about his romantic past, and Tenzin starts rambling about how he and Lin drifted apart, had different goals, etc. before he catches himself and turns away from her, embarrassed.

The rest of the episode shows the chief's professionalism and pride, but also humanizes her, giving Beifong a more kind, friendly approach to the Avatar by the end.  Tenzin certainly had something to do with that (and it is a bit suspicious that she warms up to him again when she suggests that it be "just like old times," leading me to wonder what exactly she means by that), telling her that perhaps she was not very different from Korra when she was the same age.

And, of course, the chief goes balls-out when it comes time for her to fight against the Equalists.  The choreography of her cablebending fight scenes is breathtaking, and almost manages to upstage Korra's own impressive showing.  At any rate, the two certainly make for a dynamic pair.  Korra takes out at least three Equalists, including Amon's chief lieutenant, who had gotten the better of Mako and Bolin in the past.  But when considering that Chief Beifong was at a natural disadvantage (having no earth to bend on top of a glass dome), she acquitted herself quite nicely.  It is unclear how the chief would have made out without Korra, since Korra saved her bacon a couple of times, but she did have to break off her pursuit of Amon to save Korra from plummeting into the arena's playing surface.  In summary, I'm looking forward to seeing more of Lin Beifong in action.

The title of this week's episode, "And The Winner Is...," ostensibly refers to the championship match of the Pro Bending Tournament.  Although the Wolfbats win the tournament, they can hardly be called "the winners" by the end of the episode.  But then, who are the winners?  Certainly not the Fire Ferrets, who lost out on the prize money and got electrocuted in the pool.  Not Chief Lin Beifong, whose reputation took a major hit after she failed to secure the Pro Bending Arena.  Not even Amon, who lost several of his "royal guard," so to speak, including his electric baton-wielding lieutenant (although I suspect we'll see Lt. Lance Henrikson again in future episodes).  Tenzin?  Well, Tenzin was proven correct in his assertion that the city should not antagonize the Equalists, but his somber tone at the end of the episode suggests that he does not take any pride in that fact.  While it appears on the surface that no one was a clear-cut winner in this episode, I would like to suggest another possibility: Tarrlok.

Originally, when Amon first issues his demand that the council shut down the Pro Bending Arena, Tarrlok agrees with Tenzin and the rest of the council (such as they are) that the arena should be closed.  Public safety, he claims, is more important than playing a game.  But when Chief Beifong enters the council room, offering her metalbending officers as security for the match, Tarrlok gets an idea.  His eyes shift one way then the other while the chief is still talking, indicating that he is focusing on something that is going on in his head.

After this motion, Tarrlok elicits a guarantee from Chief Beifong that she will take personal responsibility for the safety of the spectators in the audience.  He then changes his vote in favor of keeping the arena open and the council members that he controls follow suit.  What does Tarrlok have to gain by this maneuver?  Is it a move to cover his own tail politically?  If something had gone down and the council had been responsible for keeping the arena open, Tarrlok would be to blame.  However, if Chief Beifong takes responsibility, Tarrlok gets to crow about not-caving to terrorists' demands (although he does not do this in the episode, it would certainly be in character) and has someone to blame in case something goes wrong.

But is it more than that?  I don't believe that Tarrlok is tied up with Amon.  Amon clearly wanted the Pro Bending Championship to take place, despite his warning on the radio.  It's pretty obvious that Tarrlok controls the council.  If Amon held influence over Tarrlok, Tarrlok would not have taken a chance that the Pro Bending Arena would be closed.  What has happened is that Tarrlok has seen an opportunity to seize power in some way.  We'll have to wait and see how that opportunity manifests itself; I think it will be in trying to create an army of benders under his command.

Other Stuff:

• People have been commenting that Korra needs to learn airbending quickly, so that she can fly after Amon the next time something like this happens.  Also, that Mako and Bolin could not have assisted her, because they had no means to reach Amon's zeppelin.  Whatever happened to that firebending trick that Ozai and Azula employed where they used flames shooting out of their feet to fly?  Why can't Korra or Mako do that?
• More flashbacks.  This one has Toph standing next to Avatar Aang, pointing at something (or someone) off screen, some shots of a sleazy-looking guy, then Avatar Aang coming down from Avatar State in the middle of a street.  Looks pretty intense.  There's still a question of what's triggering these flashbacks at these particular points in time.  I personally think that Aang is trying to communicate with Korra in these times when she is both unconscious and in close proximity to Amon.  It's kind of like when Roku sent his dragon to fetch Aang while he was in the spirit world.  I would probably go nuts if Aang sent Appa to bring Korra around.

• Korra's motivations are still not clearly defined for me.  She's just drifting through life, without much purpose to what she's doing.  The only things about which I am certain that she cares are pro bending and Mako.  She needs some greater stake in the world around her.
• Korra Nation just posted a new video from next week's episode.  Looks like I was wrong about the bending block being non-permanent (for now, at least).  Also, this clip has me more optimistic for the future of this series than any of these flashy action sequences they've shown to date.  Finally, dramatic events are going to have consequences.  Tahno's beaten-down expression and Korra's believable sympathy make me very excited to see the next installment.  This is the kind of breathing space I have been looking for--space to believably show emotions.

Crackpot-Theory-of-the-Week:  The reveal of Mako and Bolin's profiles on the Republic City game states that each brother would be willing to die for the other.  So Bolin's going to die, and Mako will join up with Amon (possibly even becoming his new lieutenant?) for revenge.  Since Mako's one of the only things/people that Korra values, his defection will give her an emotional stake in the war between Equalists and benders.

(I don't know if that's actually how it's going to play out, but somehow, Mako's going to turn bad.  He has too much of a 'Sasuke-from-Naruto' vibe to have things play out any other way.)

All images are the property of Nickelodeon, Inc., Bryan Konietzko, and Mike DiMartino.  All rights reserved.

The Legend of Korra: "The Spirit of Competition" (Episode 5)

Pabu's talkin' 'bout Real Love

The episode.  Nick.com.  Go watch it.  Return.

So this is a little late.  Maybe people have moved on until next week.  It would really be helpful if Nick would post these episodes a little earlier than mid-Monday, so that I could watch them a couple of times before I write these reviews and get them published while they're still relevant.

After I watched "The Spirit of Competition" the first time, I admit I wasn't a fan.  I thought the development of all the romantic complications was rushed and felt unnatural.  I was also kind of embarrassed.  "Is this Avatar or The Cutting Edge?" I wondered to no one in particular.  I won't say that it elevated itself to "classic" status upon second viewing (I think the romantic quandaries were presented much more subtly and developed more naturally in one-off episodes of Last Airbender like "The Fortuneteller" and "Cave of Two Lovers"), but there were some subtexts worth exploring.

And, yes: Bolin is still an amazing character.

At first, one of the things that put me off about this episode (and still does, to some extent) is the jarring shift from last episode's despair and fear, to the airy and fun times of pro bending.  I realized later that the episode is somewhat more complex, but certain sections still fall flat upon further analysis.  For Korra, Amon should be priority #1, and all of her training should be focused on defeating him.  I understand, from a narrative point-of-view that to do so would cut out our other three main characters completely, but to totally ignore the issue just one episode removed makes me feel like maybe Amon isn't such a big deal after all.  Why isn't anybody talking about him?  He was declared Public Enemy #1!  Why aren't any of the benders at this pro bending match worried about someone who could take away their livelihood?  And, as I mentioned before, this should be the main concern for the Avatar.  But for Mako and Bolin, it is completely understandable that their focus would be primarily on the Pro Bending Championship Tournament.  Winning the championship is their ticket out of whatever slum life they are apparently living.  So it makes sense when Mako tells Bolin that it is unwise to rock the boat that is the Fire Ferrets during the championship.  To him, Korra is first and foremost a means to winning that tournament.  Bolin, the younger and more sheltered of the brothers (excellent example of "showing, not telling": Mako is the one fixing noodles for dinner, while Bolin gives the pet a bath), has trouble understanding the necessity of winning the tournament, because he has never been the one who had to make sure that the pair can survive (I assume. I'm kind of running on speculation here, but I feel like the series supports it).  Having said that, I feel like it is out of character when both brothers give up in the final round of the semifinals.  For someone who has repeatedly said how important it is for the Fire Ferrets to win the championship, Mako gives up pretty easily.  Maybe his new plan is to take a ride on the Golden Asami Sato-Mobile.

Other Observations:

• Pema is a great character.  I really wish we got to see more of her and Tenzin.  They were both in "A Voice in the Night," but Pema didn't talk in that episode, and Tenzin did not appear at all in this one.  I wonder how much of Korra's relationship with Pema will be a surrogate for a relationship with her mother, since it didn't seem like she got to see her mother very much while living at the South Pole.  Also, I think this is really the first "Mother" in the Avatar universe that we've gotten to (or are going to get to, I hope) spend an extended amount of time with (that's still living).  I look forward to how Bryan and Mike handle that relationship dynamic.
• All right, I'm going to let myself descend into this madness and nonsense once: Korra and Bolin are great together.  They enjoy the same things, have the same temperament (and social skills), seem to be equally clueless about the hardships of life... she's pretty and he's GORGEOUS!  I don't sense any similarities at all between Korra and Mako.  I think they each admire the other's power and skill at bending, and each think the other is hot.  It feels like a shallow relationship.
• Mako is still not clicking for me.  I hear him talking and feel like his character is consistent, but there's nothing interesting about him.  For me, that's a good reason to pair him up with Asami--there's really nothing interesting about her, either.  Everything we know about her is related to her fawning over Mako or that her mother's dead.
• A lot of this episode is light-hearted buildup for next week's episode, in which we can assume *SPOILERS* Amon will make an appearance and take away Tahno's (the jerk captain of the rival pro bending team in the finals) bending.  Folks have told me that such a scene appears in the "Coming This Season" trailer that was shown with the pilot episode online.
• Little callback to the second episode when Asami compliments Korra on her hat trick.  You know Korra wants to blow her off, like Mako did to her, but she handles it with much more grace.
• Still a lot of great humor in this episode, for all its missteps.  Pabu and Bolin together in a scene always equals comedy gold.  I like that they gave Bolin a serious moment while his heart is breaking, before making him run off hilariously.

Pabu no longer talks about Real Love

Crackpot-theory-of-the-week: Asami is evil.  Well, maybe not evil, but definitely not someone to be trusted.  This isn't even a crackpot theory--I think this one is probably pretty on-the-mark.  So, let's crackpot it up a little more:  Asami is the granddaughter of Zuko's mom and Earth King Kuei!  Ahh, yeah.  That feels better.

Side note:  The Avengers was awesome and anybody wanting to see guys punching things really hard should go see it.  I highly endorse the film.

All images are the property of Nickelodeon, Inc., Bryan Konietzko, and Mike DiMartino.  All rights reserved.

I Support Having Mark Linn-Baker in Every Video Game

Notified by my brothers over at Kotaku, I stumbled upon this gem of a game.  Titled "Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now," after the song that plays over the opening credits to Perfect Strangers, I can't decide if it is marketing/promotional material, or just a programmer who is very enthusiastic about Mary Anne:

The game first asks you to type out a dream that you would like to achieve.  My own personal wish?  To open a ramen-ya/brewpub named "The Thirsty Gaijin".  Your dream then goes onto the Dream Board, where other players can read your fondest dreams for the future.  Some examples include "Find a New Job," "drink beer" (ambitious!), and "suckle your mint leaves," which sounds totally hot... I guess...  To achieve your dream, you have to guide Balki through several different types of terrain (including, for some reason, a flying level) and collect stars, all set to the theme song for the show.

You guys remember the part from Perfect Strangers where Balki has to run through Norwood Park, right?

Collect over 90% of the stars, and you'll be rewarded with a clip of Bronson Pinchot and Mark Linn-Baker doing the "Dance of Joy."  However, if you want to truly achieve your dream, you'll have to collect 100% of the stars available.  It took me about ten tries before I got them all, and the "Dance of Joy" lost some of it's child-like wonder by the time I reached number ten.  But that sweet, sweet soundtrack kept me coming back for more.

The site says that I have achieved Rank #1: "Spiderman Balki".  It does not make it clear whether that is the title given to all who achieve 100%, or if I now rank #1 on a leaderboard of "Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now" players.  It wouldn't surprise me if both were true.

UPDATE: Apparently the game has been taken offline.  No idea about if it was pressure from Warner or Bronson Pinchot that forced Jason to take it down.  Or perhaps the servers were overtaxed--this thing got a LOT of press.

UPDATE #2: I never received a response from Mr. Oda, but the game is now back online.  Enjoy!

The World Deserves A Perfect Strangers Video Game. Now, It Has One. - kotaku.com

All images are the property of Jason Oda.  Based on characters created by Dale McRaven.  All rights reserved